If the worst was to happen, it would be my fault.

And so I was wondering.
What if she did.
Like, did it.


Killed herself.
My best friend.
She writes about it.

But would she do it?
Would she have the guts
To end her life forever?

I'm not mocking her.
No guts for that
Would be a good thing.

It would almost kill me.
I swear we are
Psychologically connected.

I could not eat.
I could not sleep.
I would not go to school.

I bet.
Hypothetical, of course.
But still.

Would my mother
Understand?
Understand the fact

That I can't function
Properly?
Would she leave me alone?

Because I wouldn't want to talk.
If my best friend was killed
By accident

It would be bad
Enough.
If she did it on purpose

It would be so much
Worse.
Because I would know

That I could've done
Something - anything -
To stop it.

Because I knew
Her secrets.
Precious few do.

Most of them
Are overseas.
I see her everyday.

That makes it my fault
If she kills herself,
Because I would be the one

That knew.
And that should
Have done something.

But I hope
It will never come
To that.

I hope
So bad
That it won't.

Love from, Me.
xx