A life comes to an end, and I cry.

A life lost.
Husband, father, friend,
Grandfather - or good as.

In and out of hospital
Sick with cancer
Catches pneumonia.

This time,
Hope is lost.
Machines unplugged.

Only oxygen.
Left to die,
Because nothing else

Can be done.
No one's fault.
No one can help.

Go to visit.
He's unconscious.
Swollen hands.

Starts stirring,
Sudden, fast movements.
Dreams? Nightmares?

Death?
"I think he's about to go."
My eyes well with tears.

I'm ushered out -
Leave him with family.
I cry out the door.

Lean against the wall.
My mother's not long after me.
We both cry.

His son finds a nurse,
"My dad's just passed."
I cry more. I wish I could stop.

Nurses arrive, doctors called.
My mum and me,
We stay outside.

A nurse comes out from the room.
She confirms: "He's passed.
He's in a better place now."

She rubs my arm.
Tears come again.
I wish they would stop.

I think.
The same number of bodies
Still in the room

From when we left.
However,
One less life.

I try to distract myself.
Must stop crying.
Must appear ok.

A nurse walks by.
I know her.
I used to work with her.

At a different job.
She smiles at me.
She's sorry for me.

I smile back
Best I can.
I continue my distraction game.

Mum's crying again.
I wish she would stop.
Her crying

Makes me cry.
And I can't cry.
I have to be strong.

We leave the hospital.
I drive us home.
I leave my sunglasses on.

My mum tells my sister.
She doesn't cry.
Why?

Maybe she doesn't fully understand.
Maybe she doesn't fully comprehend.
Maybe she wasn't as attached as me.

I go out for a drive.
An hour and a half,
Or so.

I cry as I drive.
My sleeve becomes wet
From mopping my tears.

I must stop.
Can't cry and drive.
Music. Wind. Distract.

But still,
The start of life
Minus an important person.

He'll be cremated.
I don't want that.
Don't burn. Bury.

Not my choice,
Though.
I'm only half family.

But I'll still miss him.
Humour, crude jokes,
Love and care.

Always going.
Always up for it.
Always laughing, joking.

He will be missed.
R.I.P.:
Rest In Peace.

Love To You, Forever and Always,
Me xx