Memoirs From My Messed Up Mind

I made a mistake.
I looked at his Facebook.
And our formal pictures.

And I talked to him
On MSN.
So, a few mistakes.

Now I've backtracked.
I'm back in Depression.
I still want things back.

So I occupy myself
In other ways.
Youtube.

I look up videos
That some may consider
"Disturbing".

There's red.
And sharp stuff.
And beautiful images.

This just goes to show
How fucked up I am
In the head.

I think up
What I can do
To myself

When I've got my stuff.
I take pictures.
Save them to my computer.

I want to do it now.
But what I use
Isn't where I am now.

Fuck that.
I really,
Really want to.

Fuck that as well.
I'm fucking messed up.
Clearly.

I listen to depressing songs
And learn the lyrics.
I wanna be Dark. Reckless.

I want that red, though.
The beautiful carvings and inscriptions
Of words and phrases.

Not on paper.
Not in the sand.
On me.

On my arm,
My leg,
My shoulder.

Don't copy me.
Trust me,
You so don't want to be like this.

It's quite horrible,
Actually.
Lying, Concealing,

Doing it anyway.
Because I'm stupid,
And fucked up.

"Help" isn't working.
I'm only going
To keep mum happy.

Well, that makes one of us.
Better than
None of us.

"This is for you..."
"Love is blood ...and tears..."
Beautiful Inscriptions.

Love from, Me.
xx