Don't Waste Your Time Lecturing Me.

So Dad comes in.
Talks about me
And my sister.


Go away, Dad.
You have
No. Fucking. Idea.


Don't bother telling me
About boys and their testosterone levels
And girls and their estrogen levels.


I'm not interested.
You were a boy.
You don't know.


Don't pretend to.
And don't think you do.
Cause you don't.


I don't want to hear this.
What I haven't already learnt,
I'm not interested in hearing.


You think you know me
So fucking well.
You don't. No one does.


You have no idea
What it's like to be me.
You can't imagine.


Here's the truth then:
I don't know where I stand
With my favourite guy in the world.


It hurts like fucking mad
To see and hear
The things he says to other girls.


I am depressed.
It's not fucking
'Chemical Imbalances'.


Not like you think.
I need help.
And not from you.


From a bloody shrink.
But you don't know.
Because you don't know me at all.


I am always angry.
It explodes in me
And I have to hit things.


My sister is a bitch.
But no one seems to realise.
She is sweet to them.


I am left out
Cause I'm invisible.
Must be boring, too.

I feel horrible.
My own mother titles me Bully.
That makes me fucking hate myself.

So there you go.
A slice of my life.
No all of it. But some.

Don't ask me how I survive.
Cause I don't fucking know.
On bitterness and anger, perhaps.

Love from, Me.
xx